my life with depression.com

qui bene amat, bene castigat we hurt the ones we love the most.

i bring this up because i’ve been hurt by family. to me family consists of people that you can count on when the rest of the world has shut you out. these people are also the ones who can hurt you the most. you let them into your life; into your heart; into your soul. you trust them even with the deepest darkest secrets because they won’t judge you. they are family.

i was not hurt intentionally; it was just thoughtlessness. for the sake of privacy, we’ll call this person XXX. this person has been in my life since forever. our relationship has always been strong and consistent with the knowledge that even when it’s been months since our last conversation, there is still that connection and it feels as if we have just spoken to each other yesterday.

well, XXX hurts me time and time again with his/her thoughtlessness. i’ve accepted the fact that for this person, family = over looked. i accept both XXX’s good and bad characteristics. no one is perfect and he/she is family. the friendship that XXX and i have had has been one sided for some time now. i can no longer spend my energy on it nor do i have the emotional capacity at the moment to be hurt again. to be trumped by something else deemed “more important.” to hurt and wonder why this person whom I love so much is just taking our friendship and me for granted.

man, this is harder to write about without sharing everything. so I guess I’ll just end it with the fact that XXX and i are family. we will always be available for each other in times of need, but for now i only have the capacity to only give back what I get.