loss
Saturday, May 13th, 2006i’m sitting here. it’s saturday morning and it’s now 9:36am. i’m half way into my yogurt, i’ve got my favorite green blanket wrapped around my body with my shoulders exposed and i’ve got a painting show on the the background. i’ve been wanting to write these thoughts since last night … or was it this morning at 4am when i woke up for some unknown reason.
i asked myself if it’s easier to loose a loved one through death or through divorce. i don’t mean the “i hate you, you’ve ruined my life” type divorce, but the “i love you, but we are just too different and this is not a good relationship for either of us” type.
i guess it all depends on the type of death a loved one has. if it’s the quick and unexpected type, then it is somewhat different from an amicable divorce. but i guess if it’s a death that’s expected to happen in 6 months, then i guess maybe it’s more similar.
one similarity is that if you’ve known the person since your early 20’s there is a loss of someone who’s grown up with you. someone who’s been your best friend; someone who’s known exactly what drives you and what your soul is about. this is the person who has had the most influence on the course of your life since the beginning of adulthood. the person who is at home for you; who will take care of you when you are too weak to take care of yourself.
another similarity is that there’s the anticipation the the dread of the end of that sixth month. after that sixth month, things are final. death is final and divorce is final. i guess the road to that six months is hard, but probably not as hard as the next six months after the loss.
to be continued…
