my life with depression.com

i am the looser in my upcoming divorce. i gave up so much. so much to support his career. BIG FAT MISTAKE. i will never again move for a guy.

i gave up:

1. having family close by
2. a five year relationship with my sales accounts
3. gave up leverage with those sales accounts
4. relationship with my sales manager
5. comfort of understanding the dynamics of the sales territory
6. a high performing territory that took five years to build
7. co-workers with whom i grew up with in the industry
8. friends with whom i grew up with
9. being able to attend all the family parties
10. being able to see my niece and nephew on the weekends whenever i feel like it
11. being able to help my sister with the kids whenever she needs help
12. being able to bond with other extended family members
13. being able to spend time with friends when in LA because now i have to see family. friends are more distant
14. access to any warm beaches
15. relationships with all the restaurant managers and chefs of the restaurants in and around beverly hills
16. local comfort

what he gained:

1. closer to his family
2. my pushing him to spend more time with them so they have a better relationship = better understanding of his parents
3. the support from me and the opportunity to accept an executive development program position at a fortune 10 company.
4. the opportunity to find his calling so that he can succeed and feel fulfilled
5. promotions
6. closer to his friends

what i will have after the divorce:

1. depression
2. 1/2 the assets - cash, investments, investment prop, stocks, primary residence etc.
3. no job = no credit (long story, but it has to do with no support from him)
4. no car (had to give back my company car)
5. can’t roll $$$ over into a house = no job = no credit line = no home ownership
6. have to pay cash for car = no job = no credit line
7. have to pay cash for any business that i want to start = no job = no credit line
8. no job = no opportunity or choice to leverage my assets or not
9. will have to move back in with my parents. I’M A FUCK’N ADULT
10. lower credit card line
11. no more hilton honors points/miles
12. no longer living in the SF-bay area = loose recently made friends = loose lovely SF weather = loose nice commute and easier traffic patterns
13. INDEPENDENCE AND NO OVERBEARING PERSON IN MY LIFE

what he will have after the divorce

1. 2006 bmw 330xi
2. 1/2 the assets - cash, investments, investment prop, stocks, primary residence etc.
3. an excellent career that he excels in and feels fulfilled in
4. job = credit line = house
5. job = credit line = opportunity to leverage his $$$
6. one credit line of over $ xx,000 and another with a line of credit over       $ xx,000 (i used the cards for work to gain miles so the companies kept increasing credit line)
7. a whole FUCK’N lot of hilton honors points/miles
8. living in the SF-bay area = close to new and old friends = lovely SF weather = nice commute and easier traffic patterns
9. not having to live with his parents
10. home ownership
11. LONELINESS and NO MORE me.