my life with depression.com

i was contacted regarding one of my posts on depression. s/he has a loved one who is going through a depression. i was asked what they can do for that person. i thought that i would post this as everyone has contact with a depressed person whether they know it or not.

this is from webmd. remember that it is still important a depressed person to seek professional help.

different people need different things. if you are the one who is depressed, print this out and highlight your needs from your loved one. sometimes it’s hard to verbalize, so maybe this list would make it easier for you.

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When depression strikes, the depressed person isn’t the only one affected. Everyone around them — family, friends, and co-workers — feels the impact.

Helping a loved one cope with depression can be key to his or her recovery. But it isn’t always going to be easy. Here are some tips.

1. Get the facts. The first thing you should do is learn more about depression. Read up on its causes and treatments.
2. Get other people involved. You can’t do this alone. Your friend or loved one may want you to keep his or her depression a secret. But that isn’t healthy. It puts far too much pressure on you. So try to get a small circle of family and friends to help. That way, you can help look after your loved one together.
3. Ask what your loved one needs. Be direct. Unless you ask, you just won’t know what your friend or loved one wants from you.
4. Don’t try to solve the problem on your own. Your loved one needs professional help to get better. Depression is a real illness. You wouldn’t try to cure a friend’s diabetes on your own. You shouldn’t try curing depression either.
5. Offer to help with the practical things. People who are depressed are easily overwhelmed. Everyday stuff — dressing the kids for school, grocery shopping, or laundry — may feel like too much. So pitch in. Sometimes practical help can make a big difference.
6. Take time for yourself. Taking care of someone who is depressed can be overwhelming. So it’s key that you set aside time for yourself. Do things that you enjoy. Get out of the house on a regular basis. Take walks or go to the gym. Catch a movie or dinner with friends.
   
   Given what your loved one is going through, you may feel guilty or selfish for thinking about yourself. But taking care of yourself is crucial. If you don’t, you’ll burn out — and that won’t help either of you.
7. Know your limits. There is a lot you can do to help your loved one. But you can’t do everything. You can’t make your loved one well. You can’t watch him or her 24 hours a day. These things aren’t in your power. In the end, your loved one has to want to get better, too.
8. Take threats seriously. Suicide is a very real risk of depression. If your friend or loved is threatening to commit suicide, take action. Don’t leave the person alone. Remove any weapons or large amounts of medication. Call a suicide hotline or your loved one’s therapist. In a crisis, don’t hesitate to call emergency services. You can’t keep something this serious a secret.

Talking to a friend or loved one with depression can be hard. You may not know how to act. You may worry that you’ll say the wrong thing. Here are some suggestions about what to do — and what not to do.


9. Don’t ask your loved one to snap out of it. Depression is a real illness. People who are depressed can’t just “pull themselves together” and feel better. It takes time and treatment. Think about it: You wouldn’t ask someone with cancer to snap out of it. Depression is just as real and just as serious an illness.
10. Listen. Right now, what your loved one may need most is someone to listen. Don’t dismiss his or her concerns. Don’t assume that you know what he or she is going through. Just listen.
11. Encourage your loved one to be more active. Most people who are depressed isolate themselves. That can make things worse. So gently encourage your friend to get out more. Suggest that you do things together. Invite your loved one out to dinner or to a walk around the neighborhood.
12. Don’t push too hard. Be encouraging but not forceful. Don’t make demands. People who are depressed feel overwhelmed as it is. If you’re always pushing them, they may pull back more. So if your friend or loved one declines your invitations, don’t force the issue. Instead, just give it a little time and then ask again. Be persistent but gentle.
13. Encourage your loved one to stick with treatment. It’s key that your loved one stay on his or her medication and get regular checkups. He or she may also need encouragement to eat well, get enough sleep, and stay away from alcohol and drugs. You could also offer to go with your loved one to therapy or health care appointments.
14. Create a stable environment. Reduce stress around the home. Try to get your loved one on a schedule, so he or she knows what to expect each day.
15. Emphasize that your loved one will feel better. Right now, your loved one may feel hopeless. Be reassuring. Depression distorts a person’s perception of the world. But with time and treatment, your friend or loved one will see clearly again.