my life with depression.com

i haven’t done this in a long time, but what is the definition of intimacy?

i found one that i really agree with.

Defining Psychological Intimacy

Despite the widespread attention in the professional literature to studies of intimate behavior, there has been little agreement about the meaning of intimacy in human relationships. Any attempt to define intimacy in a meaningful way must attend to various perspectives on the subject as well as clarify the potential linkages between differing perspectives. In addition, the meaning of intimacy must be differentiated from related concepts, such as communication, closeness, and attachment (Prager, 1995). If we are to be meaningful, not to mention relevant to human relationships in general, Prager cautions that any definition of intimacy needs to be compatible with everyday notions about the meaning of psychological intimacy. Because of the contextual and dynamic nature of relationships over time, however, a simple and static definition of intimacy is probably “unobtainable” (Prager, 1995).

Components of Psychological Intimacy

Summarizing a large body of research, Berscheid and Reis (1998) stated:

Intimacy has been used variously to refer to feelings of closeness and affection between interacting partners; the state of having revealed one’s innermost thoughts and feelings to another person; relatively intense forms of nonverbal engagement (notably, touch, eye contact, and close physical proximity); particular types of relationships (especially marriage); sexual activity; and stages of psychological maturation (p. 224).

Most frequently, intimacy has been used synonymously with personal disclosure (Jourard, 1971) which involves “putting aside the masks we wear in the rest of our lives” (Rubin, 1983, p. 168). To be intimate is to be open and honest about levels of the self that usually remain hidden in daily life. The extent of personal disclosure is proportionate to how vulnerable one allows oneself to be with a partner in revealing thoughts and feelings which are not usually apparent in social roles and behaviors of everyday life.

Intimacy also has been thought of as companionship (Lauer, Lauer & Kerr, 1990) and has been associated with emotional bonding (Johnson, 1987). Others have defined intimacy as a process which changes as relationships mature (White, Speisman, Jackson, Bartos & Costos, 1986). Schaefer and Olson (1981) considered intimacy to be a dynamic process which included emotional, intellectual, social, and cultural dimensions.

by Richard A. Mackey, Matthew A. Diemer, Bernard A. O’Brien. Published 8/00: Sex Roles: A Journal of Research

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for me, the following is the most important definition - especially coming out of an emotionally void relationship:

… personal disclosure which involves “putting aside the masks we wear in the rest of our lives”. To be intimate is to be open and honest about levels of the self that usually remain hidden in daily life. The extent of personal disclosure is proportionate to how vulnerable one allows oneself to be with a partner in revealing thoughts and feelings which are not usually apparent in social roles and behaviors of everyday life.