therapy on babies and do i love him?
Saturday, March 10th, 2007
[ADDITION to this post located here]
well, i didn’t get to write about my therapy session yesterday because i stayed out and got home at around 10pm.
how was therapy? very light. i mentioned my socializing with my friends mike and angelica. i told her that mike and i spoke about his parents and blah blah blah and that i asked what his thoughts are on his girlfriend being 12 years older … and how he said that they don’t feel it, they just do their day to day …
WHAT CONCERNS DO YOU HAVE TO WHERE YOU HAVE TO ASK ABOUT THE AGE DIFFERENCES?
i never worried about having kids even though i’m in my 30’s because i guess it could’ve happened any time since i was married. but now that i’m not, it can’t! and i don’t want to have my second child at or after 40 years old. i’m not ready now, but i want to have my first child between 35 and 36/37…. and his girlfriend is already 45 years old …..
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS BEFORE YOU ARE MARRIED OR AFTER?
after i’m married
IF THAT IS YOUR GOAL, THEN YOU HAVE TO START LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NEXT YEAR.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT, GIVE ME YOUR INSTINCTIVE ANSWER, DO YOU LOVE your FRENCHIE?
yes, because he and i enjoy the same things, he likes to dance …. he’s able to calm me down when or if we argue because he doesn’t respond with full blown emotion like i do. he was thoughtful and just surprised me with flowers one day … i feel like we are on the same playing field … he’s motivated and goal oriented …. but i’m still trying to decide how much drive i want my next man in my life to have. i want someone with ambition and drive, but not too much to where i’m number three in his life …….
FIRST, THOSE ARE ALL LOGICAL REASONS. SECOND, YOU CANNOT DIVIDE THE WORLD INTO MOTIVATED PEOPLE AND NON-MOTIVATED PEOPLE. YOU FALL IN LOVE AND THEN YOU FIND OUT IF THEY ARE MOTIVATED OR NOT. BESIDES, SOMEONE WITH A LOT OF DRIVE AND MOTIVATION CAN STILL MAKE YOU NUMBER 1.
well, i’m trying to decide with my head since i always use my heart! so that’s why i love my FRENCHIE.
I’M THINKING BACK TO A FEW SESSIONS AGO WHEN I ASKED YOU THE SAME QUESTION ABOUT your FRENCHIE; YOU GAVE THE SAME LOGICAL ANSWERS. AND WHILE YOU WERE TALKING LOGIC ABOUT your FRENCHIE, YOU WERE CRYING AND EMOTIONAL AT THE MENTION OF S2BX. …. I JUST DON’T WANT YOU TO LOVING HIM(FRENCHIE) BECAUSE HE LOGICALLY MAKES SENSE. LOVE NEVER MAKES SENSE!
EVEN THOUGH HE LIVES IN PARIS AND YOU LIVE HERE AND THERE’S AN AGE DIFFERENCE AND …… IF ALL OF THAT DOESN’T MATTER, CAN YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE HIM?
(crying) yes… if i’m talking from my heart, then yes i love him. i love the way i feel with him. i love how i feel when we interact, when we are having lunch or dinner together. he makes me feel sexy even though i don’t feel that sexy. he makes me feel pretty and he makes me feel good about myself. he empowers me and he believes in me … and ….. (now holding a kleenex tissue and drying my eyes). i’m so glad i didn’t let him go while my life was turned upside down… i would’ve missed out on someone who is really great…. (crying again) i miss him so much … (more crying)
HAVE YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT THE FUTURE? (arg! another heavy question!)
:: me and my FRENCHIE ::
[ADDITION to this post located here]
