all about love
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007What is love?
Difficult to define
Rubin’s “love scale”
(13-item measuring device)
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3 components
- attachment
- caring
- intimacy
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√ some validity to this measure
Types of love
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Passionate love (infatuation or romance)
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Intense psychological feelings
Physiological arousal
Typically, strong sexual desire
Companionate love
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Friendly affection and deep attachment
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory
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Three Components
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√ Passion
√ Intimacy
√ Commitment
Passion builds, intensifies, then fades; intimacy and commitment continue to build
Lee’s Styles of Loving
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√ Romantic
√ Game-playing
√ Possessive
√ Companionate
√ Altruistic
√ Pragmatic
Research is limited
Falling in love: why and with whom
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The chemistry of love
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√ Neurotransmitters in the brain similar to amphetamine
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- Norepinephrine
- Dopamine
- Phenylethylamine (PEA)
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- The body builds tolerance
- Endorphins may be responsible for deeper attachments
- Loss or potential loss of a loved one may be similar to drug withdrawal
Proximity (geograpical “nearness”)
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√ Familiarity breeds liking
√ Familiarity breeds predictability –> greater comfort
√ Effects of “culture” and “community”
Similarity
Reciprocity
Physical attractiveness
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√ Aesthetically pleasing
The Development of Intimacy
Self love MOST IMPORTANT STEP!
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Genuine interest, concern and respect for self
Prerequisite for a satisfying relationship with others
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
The phases of a relationship
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√ Inclusion
√ Response
√ Care
√ Trust
√ Affection
√ Playfulness
√ Genitality
Issues in loving relationships
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Relationship between love and sex
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Several possibilities
Questions to ask
Sex and relationships on your terms
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Each person has to decide how to express his or her own sexuality
Steps to take
Jealousy in relationships = defined as an aversive feeling in response to a real or imagined relationship between one’s partner and another person.
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Jealousy prone person
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Low self-esteem
Negative consequences
Numerous gender differences in: triggers, experiences and coping with jealousy
Maintaining relationship satisfaction
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Ingredients in a lasting love relationship
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√ Self acceptance
√ Appreciation of each others qualities
√ Commitment
√ Good communication
√ Realistic expectations
√ Shared interests
√ Ability to face and deal with conflict
Sexual variety
TO READ MORE ABOUT LOVE:
sternberg’s love triangles
consummate triangle
sternberg’s triangular love scale
all about love
crush-infatuation-in love-love
