my life with depression.com

oh i’m feeling so tired. i don’t know why. i slept at 11-ish last night and woke up at 6:15 this morning. i woke up early on this saturday morning because i invited my next door neighbor to brunch outside in my balcony. i’d just purchased a bistro set and i’ve tried to attempt to shabby chic it out. it looks like it’s gettin’ there.

anyways, i’m having a slow start. it’s already 7:20 and i still have to clean my wood floors and tidy things up. cooking i don’t think will be a problem. i’m sure that i can do everything within 45 minutes. i just have to multi-task. so that puts my start time at about 9:45 - cooking. they arrive at 10:30.

why do i get myself into these things. i just wrote a post on forcing one’s self … well, this morning, i AM having to force myself. i’m kinda bummed though because i don’t think that we’ll be eating out side as planned. with our global warming weather, one day of rain is suppose to come our way. AND THAT’S TODAY. when i’m hosting my brunch. GREAT!

yesterday and tomorrow
today
i wish i can cancel

oh my gosh! it’s 7:31 and it’s ALREADY STARTING TO RAIN!

i guess it’s time for plan B … darn!

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ok. it’s 4pm and i’ve just finished cleaning up. i put all the dishes in the machine so those will be cleaned. as i forced myself to get up and awake, i slowly woke up. what gave me energy was doing the floors! crazy. it got my mood up actually. i ended up doing plan B because the rain just got worse. i didn’t want to do plan B because plan B meant that i had to clear out my desk. you see, to save money and space, i am using my dining table as my desk. i just move it away from my bookcase, add the chairs - well, wipe it down - and viola! a dining table!

i’m glad i didn’t cancel. my neighbors arrived … we had great conversation … they toured my upstairs. afterwards, i toured their loft to see how they set theirs up. theirs is 400 sq ft less than mine, but theirs gives you the warmth of a home. it’s so cozy. mine feels bare and empty. they were able to work around the uncomfortable living room area, while mine is still awkward. i can’t buy more furniture to add to the couch because i’m renting this loft.

something that i realized is that i need to discover more of this area. explore berkeley a little bit more. explore oakland - even though it hate oakland because it’s dirty and i can get shot - there are suppose to be quaint little parts in it that are safer. i just wish i had a discovery buddy. well, atleast the part of oakland that i’m near with is considered west oakland is “safer.” as i understand it, east oakland is the area to avoid.

rainy weather during my brunch
clear weather just after my brunch