cramps, bc pills, a contibution to the failure of my marriage
Thursday, April 26th, 2007[LINK TO: learn to communicate]
i just got out of the shower. i’m feeling sad. i’m PMSing and i’ve just proofed read my last post. oh yeah, i’m feeling a cramp come on. my FRENCHIE says to take advil because that works better on cramps than tylenol. so i guess i better take it soon before i can’t walk around - yes mine is that bad when i am not on the pill.
i think there is still that part of me that wished S2BX could’ve read my mind or that he should’ve known that he needed to be softer to me and showed more external love to me. HE SHOULD’VE KNOWN. i guess that’s my failure in this marriage in that i never really told him. i do remember once having that conversation with him, but i don’t think i really reinforced what i wanted. and stupid ass me, lived in fantasy -la-la land thinking my prince in shining armor is of course going to come out of S2BX soon and he will whisk me away into the sunset. stupid stupid naive me.
OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!! CRAMP!!!!!!! ah-weeeeee. ouch! lower back ache! i know … take some ibuprofen. i will when i start getting dressed.
as i’ve mentioned so you already know that my FRENCHIE will be staying with me for three months in the summer. He’s doing a rotation at UCSF this summer in one of the medicine labs. oh so, we talked about my taking the pill. ’cause you know … we’ll be having acrobatic sex everyday-three times a day. i got off the pill a few years ago cause i told S2BX that i was not going to fuck up my hormones if on the off chance -god forbid!- we had sex! so i stopped along time ago. besides, condoms are just as good. also, not that i fucked around or anything, but not having back up forces you and your partner to use a condom protecting one from STDs, AIDS etc. i guess you’d be stupid if you didn’t insist. there’s just no ands-ifs- or buts about it.
anyways, he said it’s up to me. double protection is good. i’ll get into the differences in birth control in france vs. here and how they don’t have spermicide automatically on their condoms like they do here…. so i will think about it, but i will probably get on them. it’s been hard having my monthly “aunt rosie” as some people call our monthly friend come by when i’m not on the pill. when she comes by, it’s debilitating cramps and she stays for a full week. when on the pill, it’s like - aunt rosie never even passed by! it’s like three days - and without all the bulk -if you are a girl, you know what i’m talk’n about!
anyways, i better get dressed, i have therapy today and before that i have to pass by redwood shores to pick up some stuff. then i have a consult for my 80 year old’s mouth so they can come up with a plan to bring my mouth back to normal.
oh damn! i also have my french talking group tonight. je ne veux pas aller ce soir.
