my life with depression.com

my therapist keeps telling me that i need to feel. i need to feel my emotions and just go with it. and that i need to stop thinking so much. i don’t think i like that advice. well… maybe overly thinking things is what got me into the marriage that i just left. maybe i was thinking too much about how he was responsible and on top of things and everything that i wasn’t. maybe i should’ve listened to that feeling that i had when he proposed.

i just don’t want to get hurt every again. pain is especially hard on me i think. i really feel it way too much.

i also hate rejection. i take it personally. how do people not take it personally??

i also hate being so nice. almost too nice that i get hurt.

i hate being available for everybody. i really hate that about myself.

i hate not knowing. i hate waiting to see what the future has for us. i just wish we were there already so i don’t have to fear it.