reading old posts and remembering
Thursday, October 16th, 2008I think that I was scared and frustrated with FRENCHIE when he left here last year.
I felt this in March 2007:
EVEN THOUGH HE LIVES IN PARIS AND YOU LIVE HERE AND THERE’S AN AGE DIFFERENCE AND …… IF ALL OF THAT DOESN’T MATTER, CAN YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE HIM?
(crying) yes… if i’m talking from my heart, then yes i love him. i love the way i feel with him. i love how i feel when we interact, when we are having lunch or dinner together. he makes me feel sexy even though i don’t feel that sexy. he makes me feel pretty and he makes me feel good about myself. he empowers me and he believes in me … and ….. (now holding a kleenex tissue and drying my eyes). i’m so glad i didn’t let him go while my life was turned upside down… i would’ve missed out on someone who is really great…. (crying again) i miss him so much … (more crying)
HAVE YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT THE FUTURE? (arg! another heavy question!)
I read it and I cried. Probably because it still holds true. Do I still love him that much? I was just thinking of how I love the look on his face when he’s giving me kisses on the cheeks. The way he feels in bed when I wrap my arms around him. When he would say “coucou pica chou.” GOD DAMN. I need to stop thinking about him and I need to concentrate here.
