my life with depression.com

I just thought of something. Were/Are FRENCHIE and I still living in our past? What I mean by that is … Are we so focused on what we had planned - living our lives together etc - that we are blind to seeing what’s happening now? That we are not going to be together anymore? Are he and I living in the past? Were he and I just trying to hold on to OLD plans from the past? So much has happened now since he and I planned “our” future together. I still want to hate him.

Are he and I obsessed??

Maybe I am mad at him too for the fact that my near future is going to be more difficult cause I have to build or create a NEW future. For the past two - two and half years, I’ve been working and planning and making decisions for the move that I’m kind of in an awkward state in my life. I’m suppose to be taking French lessons right now and I thought that I would have at least a year more before I would have to start finding a job. But now, I’m not going to be taking French lessons and I am now having to plan my future by myself. I’m scared. I’m really scared.

See. His life moves on without any changes and mine has so many changes. AND I did not even move to FRANCE.